Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Do YOU need the Goofy Guru? (Here take this quiz!)

Personally, I do not subscribe to Duality-Based Thinking, but for simplicity’s sake, please answer “yes” or “no.”

1.    Are you feeling unsatisfied or unfulfilled in any aspect of your life?  (Such as…Work?  Family? Living conditions? Geographic Location? Relationships? Health/Body Image?  Social Life? Spirituality? Personal or Professional Development?)

Guess what?!  THAT is the whole quiz! 

Because if you answer, “Yes” to discontent, on any level, in ANY aspect of your life—well, I can help!  Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Kelly N Patterson and I am the Goofy Guru.

The Goofy Guru (aka, Kelly N Patterson)
My MISSION is to show people HOW to integrate JOY, PLAY, and LAUGHTER into EVERY aspect of their lives, even the mundane stuff like doing laundry and sitting in traffic but especially through the "tough stuff" like Death, Disease, Poverty, War, Divorce, Work, etc. because I HAVE LIVED IT and I am STILL having a DAMN GOOD TIME!  

WARNING:  When you call on the Goofy Guru to enter your life—there is no turning back.  Everything is going to change and especially for you impatient folks, quite rapidly!  Because the ability to integrate JOY, PLAY and LAUGHTER in all aspects of your life is highly addictive, not to mention highly contagious to those around you, and never fails to TRANSFORM you and therefore--CHANGE your life as you know it.  *So enter with caution—you have been warned!  Your life will change—and quickly.

Some of the (documented) benefits of integrating JOY, PLAY, and LAUGHTER into all aspects of your life:

Health Benefits:

·      Boosts immunity (I am living PROOF!)
·      Lowers stress hormones
·      Decreases pain (releases endorphins)
·      Relaxes muscles
·      Prevents heart disease
·      Increased energy
·      Increased Orgasms (YAHOO!)

      Mental Health Benefits:

·      Increased lust for life; waking up each morning excited about the new day
·      Increased sense of inner-peace
·      Eases anxiety and fears
·      Relieves stress
·      Improves mood
·      Enhances resilience
·      Improves self-esteem

  Social Benefits:

Strengthens relationships
Attracts others (YAHOO!)
Enhances teamwork
Helps defuse conflict (Especially with Cops!)
Promotes group bonding

DISCLAIMER: There are some possible side effects including, but not limited to…

·      Letting go of past (perceived) pain and suffering (aka, your “sad/mad/old” story)
·      Leaving a job you hate
·      Leaving abusive/negative relationship(s)
·      Naturally dropping “bad” habits—from caffeine and negativity to unhealthy relationships
·      Moving to a new house/town/city/state/country
·      Travel
·      Possible weight loss
·      Leaving your comfort zone
·      De-construction of EGO
·      Random bouts of GLEE (in public!)
·      New circle of conscious, fun, generous friends and community
·      A totally NEW LIFE

But of course, don’t take MY word for it!  Do your own homework on all the possible benefits of JOY, PLAY and LAUGHTER. 

Goofy Guru coaching is not for pussies!  This is for people who want BIG change in their self, in their lives, and their world-- and they want it NOW!  *If you are seeking a slow, gentle tranquil transformational path-- start meditating, drink lots of water, eat organics, and take yoga classes—Goofy Guru training may not be your cup of yerba mate.

What does Goofy Guru coaching look like?

·      Starting with a free two-hour exploratory session-- by phone, Skype or in person—together, we will assess your current state of happiness, joy and fun in your life to determine if you need/want the Goofy Guru in your life.  Together, we will identify your passions, your preferred means of PLAY and sense of humor, and explore what you wish to experience in your life (aka, “The Bucket List”.)

·      If you welcome the Goofy Guru into your life, this is a committed partnership and together, we will determine the best way to proceed.  This could be in the form of weekly call-in’s, Goofy Guru “on-call”, or a Goofy Guru RADICAL CHANGE VISIT (this is when the Goofy Guru comes to YOU and shares a few days in YOUR life/YOUR world, showing you hands-on how to integrate JOY, PLAY and LAUGHTER into every aspect of your daily life.)

·      Expect homework which could range from wearing bunny ears while at the gym or shopping at Trader Joe’s-- to initiating conversations with strangers to going to Burning Man; or perhaps, white-water rafting in Costa Rica, watsu at a clothing-optional zen resort, going to a swinger’s club, or Ayahuasca ceremony—it all depends on what areas of your life you seek to change and how much!  *And TRUST the Goofy Guru will hold you accountable for your homework!

Therefore, if you think you may need/want the Goofy Guru to enter your life, please do not hesitate to contact me, Kelly N Patterson (aka, “Goofy Guru”) at kellyofthepattersons@yahoo.com, or stalk me on FaceBook. Just send me a message and then we will arrange a FREE 2-hour exploratory session!

To quote Hunter S Thompson, “Buy the ticket, take the ride” , and I, the Goofy Guru am your guide!

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